"Loving in the war years," or Finding Joy
It's not nearly as easy as the 8420 bajillion self-help books make it appear!
I walked into a brick-and-mortar bookstore earlier this week — before the head cold gods decided to hold a major party in my noggin — and looked for the women’s/LGBT/ ethnic studies shelves. I live in Huntsville, AL where there should be tremendous interest in progressive notions such as “of course women and people of color and queer people have histories that matter,” but alas … it’s a shelf each.
What doesn’t have just a shelf but a multiple cases of self-help books? Self help. And I don’t mean just the “put on your oxygen mask first” kind of self help that literary agent Anna Sproul-Latimer talks about in the latest edition of “How to Glow in the Dark.” (Subscribe if you are serious about working in literary creative arts as a writer, editor, publicist, or agent. Her writing is bonkers delicious! And her advice is always spot on and right on time!) I mean the seemingly unending ways that advice can be packaged, as if joy is right around the corner and you just aren’t doing it right.
But no, you really aren't doing it right. (NB: This opens to TikTok, which many governing entities seem hell bent on making illegal, which is a major government intervention on free speech. Go find out who is doing this in your state and petition the shit out of them to keep it as a means of communication, news, and silliness — all of which matter!)
And there are books from every imaginable religious angle, yoga and meditation (separated here from religious angles because western culture appropriates yoga and meditation as distinct from their religious connections), psychology, biology, and financial self help. What isn’t there? Social and community imaginings of joy.
We need community self help. How can communities thrive and flourish, post-pandemic, and how does community health and outlook affect personal joy? And we need it especially now, as legislatures across the US South race to the bottom of humanity to criminalize or remove (as of this writing) abortion access, drag, women’s and ethnic studies, gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth, and environmental protections. HOW can our communities even survive when so much is under attack?
I’m grateful for FES client Simona Perry in this respect. She’s penned a gorgeous manuscript that we will work to get into a production cycle by the end of this year. Part memoir, part analysis, all call to action, Perry’s work engages how environmental destruction has brought people together — but what’s glorious is that it also offers a path to community self help. I can’t give it all away, but by December of this year, you’ll hear the announcement because GOALS.
But I think about my own life here too: have I been the best steward of my community? Am I one to reach out to people when I think about them? Yes, usually, and often with a quick story, a silly meme, a TikTok or a Reel, or even a “hey, I miss you and I’m thinking about you and I hope you’re well!” That can go a LONG way. But am I one to go meet folks out for meetings, community events, or even just for fun? Not as much as I used to be. I feel stunted and in a sort of social paralysis too many times. My FOMO days are behind me for the most part, but I also see in myself that I am genuinely afraid and I am digging into from where that fear stems. Now I have to save some things for therapy, but I think I’m not alone in that fear.
I know I have to confront that fear in order to be a better member of my community. And I need community because it literally isn’t safe here for so many people. But I need community because I need the joy that comes from celebrating someone’s promotion or sharing in vacation stories or talking about an upcoming wedding. I need community because I can’t do this world alone. Neither can you. And if you want to join in community together, I’m all for it!! Virtual or IRL, for a moment or for a long time, let’s go. Let’s take the risk together. As poet and playwright (and my writing maestra) Cherríe Moraga wrote:
Loving in the war years
calls for this kind of risking
without a home to call our own
I've got to take you as you come
to me, each time like a stranger
all over again. Not knowing
what deaths you saw today
I’ve got to take you
as you come, battle bruised
refusing our enemy, fear.
We’re all we’ve got. You and I.
maintaining
this war time morality
where being queer
and female
is as warrior
as we can get.
At the end of it all, we accept each other and their fears, their scars, because community is what makes us as people, whole and complete. And in this Jewish month of Adar, where purposeful joy — and Purim! — is celebrated, I’m committing myself to finding more joy. Following Shonda Rhimes from 2016, I’m going to say yes to more things and meet my people where we are.
Join me?
That one true love….
True crime is all the rage, but I can’t get too deep into it because I'll stay there. But a true love story? That doesn’t cross many people’s desks so much. And Valentine’s Day is behind us, as are the hokey cards and the heart-shaped everything, but there’s still something about a love gone so right!
Janann Sherman, a historian and scholar, had such a love with Charlie. He told her that he’d traveled around the world twice (in military service) to meet her, and from then, they were inseparable. Sure, they took traditional western marriage vows — for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health — but they made them work! And along the way, Charlie lost his vision and relied on Jan’s eyes to see the world. Jan takes us on the journey, becoming a pilot, going to college after a career at Motorola, graduating from Rutgers with her PhD, moving to the University of Memphis (where she became my advisor), becoming chair of a growing and successful department, and retiring to Maine. Charlie promised her “til death do us part” — and that’s the only thing that separated them, ever. Go read JanAndCharlie (free with Kindle Unlimited; $7.99) and find some of that “laughter through tears” that seems to offer a good emotional reset.
And Angelee van Allman designed this stunner of a cover!
Building platforms: Client talk
I was speaking with someone about getting speaking opportunities so we are working up her connections (pro tip: you know and have access to WAY more venues, communities, groups, gatherings than you think). And I started thinking that my clients have things to say on very timely events. Most are even at the ready for a written or virtual video response with short notice. So in the interest of throwing it out to the universe, here are the subjects about which my clients are experts. If you are reading this and hosting an event or need a speaker, let me know and let’s get some introductions going because I love sharing my clients with publishers, agents, editors, and more.
Black feminist politics (including formal politics as they relate to Black women as well as policy and informal political dynamics)
Black feminist praxis
Black women/girls
HBCUs, history of and present/future
Immigration
Jewish cooking/keeping kosher
BIPOC family dynamics
Sexual violence, US and global
Race and "passing"
Environmental justice, race, & religion
What “in sickness & in health” means in practice
Women in formal politics, history of and present
Reproductive justice
Feminism, history of and present/future
LGBTQIA+ community needs assessments and data analysis
Coming soon:
90-minute workshop on what to look out for in your book contract!
If you’re writing an academic book and think academic books can’t make money, you’re wrong. Yes, there’s marketing and publicity — those things matter! And it’s true that many UP’s don’t have huge budgets for them, so hiring someone to help you is a good thing if you don’t do that kind of thing for yourself easily. But where do you want to start: your contract. I’ll set up an event and send it widely, but first spots go to subscribers and founding members (see below).
Subscriptions: A Note
This newsletter is free — it’s about what I do but also where you fit in. It’s news and advice and tips to pass along. It’s commiserating about writing because writing is hard and often so very isolating. It’s a love letter to Black feminist praxis. But it’s free.
Shout out to Renee T. White, Ph.D. for being the FIRST founding member! BRAVA!!
However, if you subscribe, you do get a couple of benefits:
first invitation to webinars and workshops with agents, acquiring editors, & publishers
a 10% discount on all webinars and workshops
active membership discounts for all ABWH and Sister Scholars members (okay, you don’t have to subscribe, but they are there)
for “founding members,” a scholarship in your name for a Black feminist scholar/writer who wants editorial support but cannot afford it. This is a chance to give back and pay forward. If you are interested in this at a higher level or for a particular person (gifting editorial services is the best thing you can do to show the writer in your life that you love them and want them to cross the finish line), please email me directly at FormoreEditorial@gmail.com.
So let’s go find some joy! And please send me your fave TikToks, memes, and invites. I’m in!